5 Strategies To Keep Calm In An Argument

When we argue, we let ourselves be controlled by emotions and we are no longer able to support our point of view effectively and constructively. Therefore, it is necessary to know certain strategies to keep calm.

Knowing how to argue – if you have no choice – is difficult. Nobody teaches you how to proceed. Unfortunately, sometimes in both personal and professional life, you have to start these tense and complicated dialogues.

However, if you learn to talk with self-control and intelligence, without losing your composure, you can keep your mind clear and express yourself clearly at all times. 

Today we offer you 5 strategies to keep calm in an argument, as much as possible by controlling the emotions that control you.

“It is impossible to quarrel with the ignorant” – Immanuel Kant 

1. Know the person in front of you, but above all, know yourself

If you know others, it means you are wise. D fa you know yourself, you’ve minds.  But why do you have to know yourself to know how to argue?

• To keep calm in an argument, you must rely on your inner strength, confidence, and self-esteem.
• If the person in front of you addresses remarks such as “You don’t know what you’re talking about” or “You’re too proud” , these words won’t affect you because you already know yourself very well. Therefore, an untrue thing cannot hurt you. 

• To win a dispute, you also need to know the weaknesses of the person you are talking to.
• If you know, for example, that that person has low self-esteem or that they turn their insecurity into aggression, you will be able to keep calm and self-control.

If you know how to establish a connection with yourself and the individual in front of you, you will have control over the whole situation.

2. “Turn off” your negative emotions

Controlling negative emotions is one of the best strategies to keep calm in an argument. Anger, pride, resentment, anger, anxiety… All this causes you a defensive and aggressive attitude. Thus, you are prepared for the “attack” and you lose control, you no longer offer logical arguments and you make accusations that lead nowhere.

To regain control in such situations, you must do the following:

• Try to see yourself from the outside. Imagine watching the conversation from the outside, calm and quiet.
• No one can “touch” you in that space. You are safe and in control.
• Now, think about what arguments you can make to make the discussion productive.

3. Do not respond immediately. Be patient.

If a quarrel leads nowhere, and the participants do not listen to each other, it will not be long before they start throwing ugly words and unconstructive criticism. Sooner or later, the two will say things they will regret. 

What is the purpose of such a discussion? None, of course.

• In order to keep calm in an argument and turn it into a productive discussion, you have to wait a while before giving an answer. Nobody is in a hurry.
• Listen carefully to what the person in front of you is telling you. Analyze these words.
• Pay attention to the impact that each line has on you, then weigh your answer well.

Remember that your lines should not create more tension. If you notice that the quarrel is going nowhere and it is just an opportunity to hurt each other and expose all your negative emotions, end the discussion.

Some quarrels simply make no sense.

4. Deep breathing: one of the best strategies to keep calm

When you argue with someone and are on alert, your brain interprets this situation almost as a threat. Thus, at the level of your body, a series of reactions are triggered: your heart beats hard, you start to tremble, you breathe hard, your mouth dries, your stomach hurts, etc.

To keep calm in an argument when you have these sensations, the best solution is to control your breathing. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly.

If you have a clear mind, you will be much more rational. 

5. Cultivate your inner peace: prepare for daily challenges

Everyday life demands a lot from us: to argue usefully, to deal with frustrations, criticisms and to face all the daily problems. If we are prepared on the inside, we can face the challenges on the outside.

To cultivate your inner peace, consider the following tips:

• Practice mindfulness meditation.
• Exercise or play a sport.

• Control your emotions through artistic activities: writing, dancing, painting…
• Cultivate your self-esteem, self-confidence and establish a set of values. 
• Practice active, assertive dialogue, enrich your vocabulary, improve your logical thinking and practice strategies that you can use in various conversations to feel confident and relaxed.

In conclusion, do not hesitate to put into practice all the above recommendations. The next time you have to have a heated discussion, you will be able to deal with it in a more efficient and constructive way.